I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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