What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
