i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
