Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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