Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize