Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
