It's like God shit irony all over that family
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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