Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
