My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
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You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
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We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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