i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
