is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
