just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
