Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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