How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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