The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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