They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
