you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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