Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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