I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
did you just send me my own nude
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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