everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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