that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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