I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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