Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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