Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
