you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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