can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
