Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
