I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
