Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
