I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
