Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
