You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
