this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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