id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
