I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
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The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
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Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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