You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
