I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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