So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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