Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
