I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
