wanna go halves on a baby?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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