Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
