I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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