I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Couch. On fire.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
