Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it's great music for shaving your balls
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
