opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
this boner is exhausting
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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