i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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