In the future we'll all be gay
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
