i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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