Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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