I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
