We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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