I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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