im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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