with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
