You're so nebulous sometimes
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
