im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just invented taco cereal.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize