Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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