he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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