Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
