Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
