Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
