We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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