i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
