He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.