U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review