I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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