I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You did what with his pubic hair?
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