I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just had sex on a roof
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
